Thursday, 26 February 2009
kewl kartoons
isn't this nice?:
found @ chalkboard manifesto, you can even facebook him/her/them/it, will wonders ever cease?
found @ chalkboard manifesto, you can even facebook him/her/them/it, will wonders ever cease?
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
how moral are you?
well now you can find out! those kind fellows at go to quiz have a questionnaire entitled do you have biblical morals?. and as we all know, morals come from god!
not surprinsingly i didn't do very well...
not surprinsingly i didn't do very well...
Your morality is 0% in line with that of the bible.
Damn you heathen! Your book learnin' has done warped your mind. You shall not be invited next time I sacrifice a goat.
Do You Have Biblical Morals?
Take More Quizzes
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Friday, 20 February 2009
a nihilists' guide to enjoying life.
here are my top trips for wringing the mostest enjoyment from your scandalously short time upon this planet we call home.
1. love everybody. this is honestly not as difficult as it sounds. the trick is to remember that everyone you meet is a blood relative. try thinking to yourself "how would i feel if this was my mother?" (warning: this advice is not advised for those that hate their mothers, try replacing 'mother' with 'brother' or 'father'. if you hate them too, try 'dog' - everbody loves their dogs) this makes it a lot easier to give people the benefit of the doubt, extra leeway, etc. for advanced lovers (that so didn't come out right, did it?) you may like to continue pondering on the relatedness of all life. see those fwuffy wuffy animals? they blood relatives too, so be nice to your pets! if you want to take this to it's logical conclusion you are in fact related, by blood, to the bacteria that live in your intestines and the yeasts that live in/on your genitalia; takes the concept of self-love to a whole nother level dunnit?
2. leave you ego at home. try to remember that it really is unlikely to be about you. for inkstains, if someone has a go, it's probably because they're upset about something that has sweet fuck all to do with you. for the vast majority of the time people are utterly absorbed with one thing: themselves. this means they are correspondingly unlikely to be thinking about you. in fact as you only make up 10% of yourself (crazy, but true!) you is not really about you either.
3. avoid drugs/alcohol. "no fucking way. did he just type that? is he taking the piss?" is probably what you just said out loud if you know me. if you don't, take my word for it. you will indubitably end up much lower than you ever got high. and you'll also end up suffering from hypoglycemic attacks (low blood sugar) which fill you wiv a murderous hatred of everybody. this is the opposite of loving everyone (see tip no. 1)
4. if it feels right, do it. always trust your intuition. you're probably a lot cleverer than, er, you are. you brain is capable of lightening fast calculations based on things like body language, weather changes, tone of voice, etc. that you are rarely consciously aware of. never, ever, rely on your intuition to follow rule no. 3 however. intuitions are good, the're just not always wholly trustworthy.
5. smile. you never know who's watching. ok, so according to rule no. 2. no one is - they're all looking in the mirror. still, there's nowt like hope, ay?
1. love everybody. this is honestly not as difficult as it sounds. the trick is to remember that everyone you meet is a blood relative. try thinking to yourself "how would i feel if this was my mother?" (warning: this advice is not advised for those that hate their mothers, try replacing 'mother' with 'brother' or 'father'. if you hate them too, try 'dog' - everbody loves their dogs) this makes it a lot easier to give people the benefit of the doubt, extra leeway, etc. for advanced lovers (that so didn't come out right, did it?) you may like to continue pondering on the relatedness of all life. see those fwuffy wuffy animals? they blood relatives too, so be nice to your pets! if you want to take this to it's logical conclusion you are in fact related, by blood, to the bacteria that live in your intestines and the yeasts that live in/on your genitalia; takes the concept of self-love to a whole nother level dunnit?
2. leave you ego at home. try to remember that it really is unlikely to be about you. for inkstains, if someone has a go, it's probably because they're upset about something that has sweet fuck all to do with you. for the vast majority of the time people are utterly absorbed with one thing: themselves. this means they are correspondingly unlikely to be thinking about you. in fact as you only make up 10% of yourself (crazy, but true!) you is not really about you either.
3. avoid drugs/alcohol. "no fucking way. did he just type that? is he taking the piss?" is probably what you just said out loud if you know me. if you don't, take my word for it. you will indubitably end up much lower than you ever got high. and you'll also end up suffering from hypoglycemic attacks (low blood sugar) which fill you wiv a murderous hatred of everybody. this is the opposite of loving everyone (see tip no. 1)
4. if it feels right, do it. always trust your intuition. you're probably a lot cleverer than, er, you are. you brain is capable of lightening fast calculations based on things like body language, weather changes, tone of voice, etc. that you are rarely consciously aware of. never, ever, rely on your intuition to follow rule no. 3 however. intuitions are good, the're just not always wholly trustworthy.
5. smile. you never know who's watching. ok, so according to rule no. 2. no one is - they're all looking in the mirror. still, there's nowt like hope, ay?
Thursday, 19 February 2009
original christian stylee
check this shit out! classic stuff from the 3rd century of the kinds of nastiness the early christians get up to. it's obviously propaganda, but sometimes it's nice to believe what you read! for inkstains:
"The notoriety of the stories told of the initiation of new recruits to Christianity is matched by their ghastly horror. A young baby is covered over with flour, the object being to deceive the unwary. It is then served before the person to be admitted into their rites. The recruit is urged to inflict blows onto it - they appear to be harmless because of the covering of flour. Thus the baby is killed with wounds that remain unseen and concealed. It is the blood of this infant - I shudder to mention it - it is this blood that they lick with thirsty lips; these are the limbs they distribute eagerly; this is the victim by which they seal their covenant; it is by complicity in this crime that they are pledged to mutual silence; these are their rites, more foul than all sacrileges combined."
if that wasn't enough, oh yes, there's more:
"We all know, too, about their banquets… On a special day they gather for a feast with all their children, sisters, mothers - all sexes and all ages. There, flushed with the banquet after such feasting and drinking, they begin to burn with incestuous passions. They provoke a dog tied to the lampstand to leap and bound towards a scrap of food which they have tossed outside the reach of his chain. By this means the light is overturned and extinquished, and with it common knowledge of their actions; in the shameless dark with unspeakable lust they copulate in random unions, all equally being guilty of incest, some by deed, but everyone by complicity. For whatever may happen in individual cases is the general aspiration and desire of them all."
madness! from early christian writings, found thanx to planet atheism
"The notoriety of the stories told of the initiation of new recruits to Christianity is matched by their ghastly horror. A young baby is covered over with flour, the object being to deceive the unwary. It is then served before the person to be admitted into their rites. The recruit is urged to inflict blows onto it - they appear to be harmless because of the covering of flour. Thus the baby is killed with wounds that remain unseen and concealed. It is the blood of this infant - I shudder to mention it - it is this blood that they lick with thirsty lips; these are the limbs they distribute eagerly; this is the victim by which they seal their covenant; it is by complicity in this crime that they are pledged to mutual silence; these are their rites, more foul than all sacrileges combined."
if that wasn't enough, oh yes, there's more:
"We all know, too, about their banquets… On a special day they gather for a feast with all their children, sisters, mothers - all sexes and all ages. There, flushed with the banquet after such feasting and drinking, they begin to burn with incestuous passions. They provoke a dog tied to the lampstand to leap and bound towards a scrap of food which they have tossed outside the reach of his chain. By this means the light is overturned and extinquished, and with it common knowledge of their actions; in the shameless dark with unspeakable lust they copulate in random unions, all equally being guilty of incest, some by deed, but everyone by complicity. For whatever may happen in individual cases is the general aspiration and desire of them all."
madness! from early christian writings, found thanx to planet atheism
Monday, 16 February 2009
atheism takes over world!
check this shit out! great no? the richer you are the more you think god is a stupid idea. found this at evolution space (i wish i could label like that!)
there is, rather obviously, one easy(ish) way of improving our rankings. anyone like to guess what it might be?
there is, rather obviously, one easy(ish) way of improving our rankings. anyone like to guess what it might be?
Friday, 13 February 2009
for penfold xxx
check this shit out! you have to watch it to the end (if you can!) it's by one claude lelouch and was filmed in a single 9 minute take in 1976. if you're, like, rilly, rilly, like, into it there's a making of... but it's in french.
c´etait un rendezvous from megahoschi on Vimeo.
reminds me of the time leary gave me a lift on the back of his bike from camberwell to hackney, took about the same amount of time an' all.
never. again.
found on horses think via amy stein.
c´etait un rendezvous from megahoschi on Vimeo.
reminds me of the time leary gave me a lift on the back of his bike from camberwell to hackney, took about the same amount of time an' all.
never. again.
found on horses think via amy stein.
Thursday, 12 February 2009
ooda funk it?
i've been reading lots about human origins. you know the sort of thing how the sickest most psychotic homo species killed all the others (probably ate them an' all) and went on to rule the world. great stuff. but, did you know we arguably wouldn't have the civilisation we have today without a little help from someone special? you know who i'm talking about...doggies!!!
yup, without dogs we wouldn't have cars, trains, central heating, the internet! just think, thanks to fido you're reading this now! but how is this possible? i hear you ask. they're cute an' all but the foundation of civilisation? that's going a bit far, what? i say, old chap, are you sure you don't need a lie down, perhaps a wee snifter? you looking a bit peaky..etc. but nay, i say nay sir, i am in fine fettle and even have evidence to back up my far-flung claims!
"nothing to do with me mate"
the basis of civilisation is four-fold. one (the commie in me hates to say it, but it's true) is private ownership of property. this was the first lesson we learnt from our furry friends. dogs need a master. they will choose the human they feel looks after their interests best and stick to 'em. this person becomes a 'dog-owner' this was our first foray into the world of ownership. the idea kinda stuck.
second is agriculture, and well, dogs didn't really teach us fuck-all in this respect. but hey, no theory is perfect right?
"you're no pinning this on me!"
third is animal husbandry. dogs were the first of many creatures to be domesticated it's obviously not a huge leap for early man to have thought "what's good for the goose/wolf..." and gone on to domesticate sheep, goats, pigs, cows and chickens.
fourth once you've built up a surplus you're then a target for raiders and teefs innit? what you need is an alarm system! why do you think dogs bark whereas wolves rarely (if ever) do? cause we selected the loudest dogs to warn against intruders!
"follow us! we'll show you the way!"
yup, without dogs we wouldn't have cars, trains, central heating, the internet! just think, thanks to fido you're reading this now! but how is this possible? i hear you ask. they're cute an' all but the foundation of civilisation? that's going a bit far, what? i say, old chap, are you sure you don't need a lie down, perhaps a wee snifter? you looking a bit peaky..etc. but nay, i say nay sir, i am in fine fettle and even have evidence to back up my far-flung claims!
"nothing to do with me mate"the basis of civilisation is four-fold. one (the commie in me hates to say it, but it's true) is private ownership of property. this was the first lesson we learnt from our furry friends. dogs need a master. they will choose the human they feel looks after their interests best and stick to 'em. this person becomes a 'dog-owner' this was our first foray into the world of ownership. the idea kinda stuck.
second is agriculture, and well, dogs didn't really teach us fuck-all in this respect. but hey, no theory is perfect right?
"you're no pinning this on me!"third is animal husbandry. dogs were the first of many creatures to be domesticated it's obviously not a huge leap for early man to have thought "what's good for the goose/wolf..." and gone on to domesticate sheep, goats, pigs, cows and chickens.
fourth once you've built up a surplus you're then a target for raiders and teefs innit? what you need is an alarm system! why do you think dogs bark whereas wolves rarely (if ever) do? cause we selected the loudest dogs to warn against intruders!
"follow us! we'll show you the way!"but how do you know we domesticated dogs before we settled down and started the process of building a civilisation? good question, this is where the latest high-tech genetic testing comes in. you will have seen (actually i doubt you did, you're probably not even reading this, but i live in hope) my earlier article on the mitochondrial lineage of our four legged friends.
the ol' mitochondrial clock is remarkably efficient at telling us the times at which certain species split from others (something too do with counting the number of mutations. no, i haven't got a clue either) and this gives us a tentative (tentative in that it might be completely wrong) date of 15,000 years ago for the 'first doggie' moments before human civilisation gets going! how about that? eh? fucking quality. that's what that is.
the ol' mitochondrial clock is remarkably efficient at telling us the times at which certain species split from others (something too do with counting the number of mutations. no, i haven't got a clue either) and this gives us a tentative (tentative in that it might be completely wrong) date of 15,000 years ago for the 'first doggie' moments before human civilisation gets going! how about that? eh? fucking quality. that's what that is.
Monday, 9 February 2009
anarchists kidnap bernd das brot!
yup, all the big news stories here at nihilist future, as ever. today's story is a rock n roll tale of anarchist squatters fighting for their rights (hooray!), a bread-based children's tv character apparently suffering from stockholm syndrome (eh?) and children's tv network KLKA (boo!)
as ever here at nihilist future we like to focus on the sexiest, most exiting stories & this one's from variety! get in!
why extremism pays
extremism does pay. this is fact. look at publishing: what do you reckon the odds are of gettiong a publisher to print a book lambasting mohammed as a hoodlum/bandit/kiddie-fiddler? (not that he was any of these things, oh no!). i'll tell you. none, zilch, zero. why? coz the last time someone tried it (not that he did, the text in question was remarkably tame i thought) he had to put up with death-threats, safe-houses & MI5 protection. other people that attempted to translate the work didn't get any protection at all and, as a result, were killed. why? the extreme tactics of a (probably) fairly small group of islamists backed by the iranian state. you see: they threaten everyone who tries anything with the ultimate punishment and what happens? no more quran questioning. that's what.
take, as further pointing, the current israeli crisis. one side (there are more than two, by the way) the jewish religionists we shall dub them want but one thing. the entire holy land in jewish hands. this is for religious reasons, i believe, but that's not important. what is important is they are asking for all of it. not a bit, not a section, all. your palestinians, on the other hand, are mostly just asking for smewhere to live (i realize that some palestians call for israel to be "pushed into the sea" but they only just thought of that, too late, some would say) suffice to say those asking for more, tend to get it.
this is my point. if you ask for the whole cake you are likely to get a bigger slice, ask for one bite only and you'll get but crumbs. this is an essential point that any protest group ignores at its peril. always, always ask big. way, way bigger than actually need or want. you see, if you ask for the world it makes getting a country seem like a good deal. the budget option as it were. and what have we learnt about the 'powers that be'?
they're fucking cheap. that's what.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
time to stop moaning...
and do something about it! yup, what started in the u.s. (ok, so the whole progressive democracy thing really got started in south america somewhere, but, like, what-ever) to help get the o-man elected (ok, it was actually to get neo-cons to stop having a go at clinton for the whole intern thang, what are you a freakin encyclopedia?) is now over here! HOORAY!!
it's basically a progressive networking tool to make sure that everyone (who's anyone) knows everything they need to about progressive moves, grooves and stuff, now that we've managed to arrive in the slightly surreal situation of a so-called labour government being (how can i put this?) a bunch of fascist bastards (yup, that about sums it up!)
"Either we change our leaders' minds, or else we change our leaders. Since 1997, voter turnout has sunk to record depths. It has never been easier to win an election."
move on, the outfit that started this whole thing has obviously achieved a lot (they weren't the only reason the o man got in, but it helped!) and now they are using that 'head of steam' to ensure the bail-out goes the right way.
the basic idea is to find out what is on members minds and then act on them. it's basically all about (and i quotin'!) "show[ing] the government that there is a constituency for change in the UK today, that there are people willing to fight for a politics that is worth fighting for."
here at nihilist future we've never been to sure about democracy, we have suspected for some time that it may just be a rather elaborate con. however, being nihilists, we like being proved wrong. according to the do something folks:
blimey! tha's fightin' talk! bout bloody time too...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)