more titty fun

holy shit! just got off the phone to t-mobile, trying to get a pac to change phone companies (can't remember why now, maybe that was they plan all along!) and my man on the other end goes:
"oh, i see you're a reverend"
and then goes on to call me reverend all the way through the phone call in this amazingly obsequious manner. it was like he was actually trying to stick his tongue up my bumhole! and you all know how much i like that kinda shit.

dammit, this shit is on.

my full titiculars

please refer: why would you ever call a man reverend?. as this preacher bloke clearly states (in a blog post, so it's clearly on the highest authority):

if you call someone reverend they are referring to themselves as god. says so in the bible, sort of. (psalms 11:9 - look it up. i haven't.) so as i consider myself (a manifestation of) 'god' or 'the universe' or 'the highest power what does exist'. i shall now be calling myself the reverend jack ralph. so there.

it's on my driving license and everything.

You can call me Rev.

Title kinda gives it away but... guess what? No go on, guess.

Give up? OK, I've just become an ordained minister! That's right folks the UK chapter of the First Church of Atheism is now officially open! hip hop hooray!

I will, of course, be available for weddings, funerals, confirmation ceremonies and the like. All will have an atheist tone (being the point).

And just how has a layabout, druggie, wastrel such as myself become a fully ordained minister? I hear you ask. Well apparently the story goes that a couple, sick of the way the 'non-denominational preacher assigned to them for their wedding (they were atheist) still expected them to want various references to the big guy upstairs in their ceremony (non-denominational generally means unaffiliated christian). So they started their very own church, of atheism (and yes, apparently, you can have an atheist church).

Now (this being the 21st century) anyone can become ordained into the church, start their own congregation (if they so wish), preach away merrily and (and this is the clincher) perform marriages, funerals, visit people about to be executed etc. The best bit is, it's free! (not sure I should be telling you that bit, ain't gonna help my monopoly, but hey-ho).

So, there you have it, I'm sure you'll all agree this is a big step forward for us free-thinking logic-based scientifically-minded double-barrelled types. and the best bit? I'm now to be properly addressed as Reverend!!!